i'm not who i was

if you listen to christian radio... you have become familiar with brandon heath's song, i'm not who i was, as it is climbing its way up the charts. i've included the new music video for the song, so that if you are not familiar with the song, we can remedy that fact right now.



the first time i heard this song was when i purchased brandon's album, don't get comfortable, right after it was released. i was walking through mardels christian store's music section and saw the album with someone i recognized. brandon lead worship at the church that i attended while i lived in nashville, so of course i had to purchase the album to support a familiar face.

this song, "i'm not who i was," expresses a lot of what my past 11 months has been about. i had a very close friend... who is no longer a part of my life, and every time i hear this song it reminds me of how much i have changed and how i am no longer who i was when i knew this person. we grow through pain. we figure out who we are and what we are made of when conflict arises... and our response to handling it reveals magnitudes about our true selves.

i am sure that this song, "i'm not who i was," has grow so popular because it expresses what many of us would like to be able to say/do with someone in our past. if only we could just call them up... and talk.

PostSecret

i recently purchased a book called postsecret. this is a book compiled by frank warren in which he asked people to mail him postcards that had secrets on them that they hadn't shared with anyone. the response that he received was amazing. not only did he receive enough post-secrets to create this book, but he keeps receiving them in the mail, so he has started posting them on his blog, www.postsecret.blogspot.com.

here are a few examples of the postcards he has received:

the book shows amazing insight into humanity and the secrets people hide. the book is not entirely "clean," but i wasn't able to put it down until i had read through the whole thing. what secrets do you hide? how free would you become if you could let them go?

www.abort73.com

i was reading in relevant magazine an article about abort73.com, which is a website with the sole purpose of educating about abortion.

the article interviews michael spielman, founder of abort73.com, and asks him these three questions: (i'll look at questions 1 & 3)

(1) what inspired you to start abort73.com?
(2) what's the most inspiring story you've heard as a result?
(3) what is your vision for the future of the website?

spielman says that he started the website "after realizing that abortion is not primarily a political issue so much as a people issue, a 'love your neighbor' issue." he decided that he needed to educate himself on the issue of abortion before he could educate others, and that he was "stunned by how overwhelming the biological case against abortion actually is." speilman believes that when "the secular evidence against abortion is sufficiently presented, minds change."

his vision for the website, and the accompanying resources, is to get better at communicating the message. he states, "to have a widespread cultural impact, we need widespread cultural exposure. as christians say that abortion is murder but act as if it's no big deal, nothing will change. but as christians get better understanding of what abortion is and does, their likelihood of engaging the culture with this issue increases dramatically."

Ultimately, "no matter what happens on the legal level, the more somebody knows about abortion, the less likely they are to have one, and that's a very good thing."

here is a video from the website:

oxford adventures revisited - part 4: God's promise is just as powerful as His presence

i've decided to post my online journal entries from my time this past summer (july) studying at oxford. the original post date for this entry: July 23, 2006.

I just attended an evangelical anglican church, and i truly enjoyed it. it was a new experience to walk into a very ornate church (cathedral like) and have a praise band there and a screen hanging from the ceiling. the man who preached (was filling in for the pastor) was michael green (an author) and he spoke on John 4:43-end of the chapter. the story is about the nobleman whose son is sick and he asks Jesus to heal him, jesus' words heal the boy, and the nobleman and his family all become believers. the main point of the sermon was that God's promise is just as powerful as His presence.

ever since i walked back to my dorm room i have been pondering that statement... i believe that this is a very important thing to remember and believe. all to often we run into those (and even believers fall into this trap) who say that "if i witnessed a miracle done by God, i'd believe then" or "how can you believe in something you cannot see?" the bible is full of stories of when Jesus performed a miracle and then the people who observed it did not have saving faith (the feeding of the 5000 is a great example, after Jesus fed the mass of people, he went out on the water and the crowd met him on the other side of the water, they asked Jesus to feed them... they were not asking for spiritual food, they wanted their physical hunger to be met once again. even the disciples who witnessed this miracle still had a hard time believing that Jesus was who he said he was). today we have the bible, the inspired word of God, which is full of God's promises to us, his people. God is revealed to the people through Jesus, Jesus is revealed to us through the Bible (Word of God), the word must then be preached to the hearers (John 1:1)... that is how God's promise is as powerful as his presence.

as i sit here (at the coffee shop once again) i am amazed how down the road from me men were killed for believe that very concept, that God's promise is just as powerful as his presence. their faith was so great that they know the promise of salvation offered to them through Jesus, and revealed through the scriptures. i am reminded how small my faith is. how feeble my trust in God is. would i give of my life for that same promise? i hope and pray that i would...

as i continue through this growth experience, i pray that God's presence become just as real in my life that others confront me for my faith. in acts the face of stephen is described as shining the glory of the Lord... may that same light shine from me, and all of us.

oxford adventures revisited - part 3: scottland adventures

i've decided to post my online journal entries from my time this past summer (july) studying at oxford. the original post date for this entry: July 21, 2006

well i made it back from scotland yesterday and i must admit that i am glad to be back at oxford. scotland was beautiful and the temperature was cooler, but all of the traveling the past five days has worn me out.

as always there is much to write... especially since my internet access has been limited. we spent 3 nights in scotland (and the drive there took us around 11 hours, because they don't know what it means to have a straight street), and the scenery is amazing. i saw more sheep since i've been here than i have in all of my life (there are actually more sheep in this country than there are people). we went to the town of st. andrews and i was able to see the remains of a castle and a cathedral, and i was able to see the old st. andews golf course (golf was invented in st. andrews and i was able to actually stand on the course - the picture is of me on the famous bridge on the 18th hole).

we stayed at the university of edinborough while we were in scotland and traveled out from there every day to see other things. we had a very interesting experience out last night there. one of my professors 16 year old daughter was staying on the same dorm hall as i was, and had her purse stolen from her room. in that purse was her passport, drivers license, money, credit card, etc. we spent a good 5 hours dealing with that... the police came, and the thief (thieves) had already purchased 3 train tickets within 20 minutes of getting the card. the number one crime in the UK is theft, and sadly we got to experience that. so now they are working on getting her passport replaced, thankfully we had to turn in copies of them to the leader of the trip, which will help make the process much quicker and smoother.

one interesting thing... when walking around in the larger cities of the UK, one would see this "look right" or "look left" painted on the ground. the brits have actually painted instructions for us dumb americans so that we know which way to look before we cross the street. i find this quite funny.

oxford adventures revisited - part 2: mind the gap

i've decided to post my online journal entries from my time this past summer (july) studying at oxford. The original post date for this entry: July 15, 2006

well once again i am back having a nice cup of tea at the coffee shop. i have neglected to inform you that this coffee house (greens cafe) is right next door to the pub (the eagle and child) where c.s. lewis and j. tolkien met to talk matters of the faith. tolkien was the one who led lewis to christ. i plan on eating at the pub sometime soon.

i spent yesterday in london and was able to see many amazing things. i am such a tourist. we saw buckingham palace, big ben, westminster abby (the outside, but we will see the inside soon), parliament, the british museum, the british library, rode the underground (subway - mind the gap is what they tell to make sure that you pay attention to the gap between the platform and the subway cart), and ate fish and chips. it was quite an experience to finally get to see everything that i've seen in pictures and on tv. i have uploaded some of the the london pictures as well.

i have this morning off and start lectures after lunch. i think that i am acclimated to the schedule, but i must admit that having class until 11 pm is still hard to get used to (i doubt i ever will, and it makes for a long day when i've been up since 6:00 am).

i will be going to church at one of the church of england's churches (which is anglican, very close to catholic, started by king henry when the catholic church would not grant him a divorce), so i am looking forward to that experience. next Sunday we want to take the oxford tube (the train) back into london to go to a service at westminister abby, which i am really looking forward to.

thank you for your prayers as i continue to experience God in new ways. until later...

oxford adventures revisited - part 1: which way is really right?

i've decided to post my online journal entries from my time this past summer (july) studying at oxford. The original post date for this entry: July 13, 2006

i have arrived to oxford and all is well... except for my sleeping pattern, but they shall adjust in due time. god is so great. i'm being challenged in new ways, of which i will write more later. i am at an internet cafe around the corner for the part of oxford i am at (it is called regents park, and is one of the 35 oxford universities). i have my own room, and i am the only single girl on the trip, which has actually been a blessing as well. i have been able to talk with some very godly men who are becoming great friends. they are looking out for me (i am on a hall with all guys, so they volunteered to give me the bathroom on the floor and go to the one downstairs, so god is revealing his servant heart through these men).

so far the hardest thing to get used to is the driving on the other side of the road. which is why my subject title is what it is... which way is really right? i am pondering which way i believe is best, and i'll let you know what i determine. =)

i was walking through the streets of oxford yesterday and came across a monument for some men who were burned for their faith (anabaptists, a religious group who were persecuted for their believe in believers baptism, and many were burned at the stake), and it has amazed me that this country has shaped the baptist heritage so much and yet after talking with the bursar of the school i'm at (we had lunch together and it was quite enlightening) i've learned that only around 5% the brits actually go to church. broke my heart. god used this nation so greatly in developing doctrine and biblical "stuff" and now it has turned its back on him. he said that the greatest unreached group are the 14-40 yr. olds... which i would say is where my heart is... who knows, maybe god might lead me back here some day, and i must admit... i don't think i'd mind that one bit!

traveling over here by myself was an adventure, once of which i don't know if i'd want to do again, but it really worked on my trust in god, so it provided numerous faith lessons. amen for that.

i'm all alone.

here is a video that my brother and some of his friends made. it's funny, so i thought i'd share it with you. the song is called 'i'm all alone' and it is from the play spamalot. my bro is the guy driving the car... with the mini-afro... and sporting the snazzy oxford t-shirt that a really nice gal bought him. =)

i survived the denton, tx flood

as some of you know, last tuesday (april 24, 2007), much of the dallas/fort worth area experienced a downpour. not just the usual spring rainfall... but some massive rain-age. much of denton (where i live) experienced flash floods, and here is a video clip of the wet craziness.


Denton, Texas Flooding - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

while i consider myself pretty lucky, my car did lose a battle with the floodwaters. while i was able to make it home, i had to have my car towed to get the water damage taken care of. none of the damage was extensive, but the hassle was slightly frustrating, and thankfully insurance covered the claim. it was an adventure that i hadn't expected.

today's decisions... impact tomorrow.

maybe you are like me, and right now you desire to do more
with your life. and i believe that god gives us desires and
passions so that we will focus on preparing ourselves for
what God chooses to do with us today and tomorrow. if we
focus on seriously preparing (through prayer/study/etc)
ourselves for the ministries that God brings to us
tomorrow, think about how we could impact the people that
are in our lives today. a continual pursuit of righteousness
and knowledge won't only change us personally, it will
change how others view God through our lives and example.

a friend of mine and i have been talking about 'reaping and
sowing.'  here are 4 principles of reaping and sowing that
she has shared with me.

1. you WILL reap.
2. you will reap WHAT you sow.
3. you will reap LATER THAN you sow.
4. you will reap MORE THAN you sow.

** these 4 principles come from a sermon by David Jeremiah.

with keeping those principles in mind, lets look at Galatians
6:7-10.

"(7)Do not be decieved: God cannot be mocked.  A man reaps
what he sows.  (8)The one who sows to please his sinful
nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who
sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal
life.  (9) Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the
proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
(10)Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all
people, especially to those who belong to the family of
believers."

Exegetical Idea of this text: A Man Reaps What He Sows

Didactic Context: Written to the church in Galatia in defense of the essential New Testament truth that we are justified by faith in Christ Jesus and that we are sanctified by the obedience that comes from faith in God.

Some Introductory Principles:

• God has ordained the principle of sowing and reaping to encourage us to be careful of what and how we sow.
• We are reminded in this text of the seriousness of how we live before God
• How does this apply to our lives? It reminds us of our personal responsibility before God.

Textual Divisions:

1. You will reap in kind – A man reaps what he sows. V. 7,8
• Mukterizo – God will not let himself be mocked, God looks at the motive of our actions – the seriousness of how we live before God
• Reap - Every man will be rewarded according to his work, what is sown (2 Cor. 9:6-8) – the amount that you sow is important, if you sow sparingly you will reap sparingly
• Sown for the sinful nature leads to destruction (1 Cor. 6:9 – the wicked will not inherit the Kingdom of God), sown to please the Spirit reaps eternal life
• You must believe God’s promise that at the end of all things, whatever a man sows he shall reap
• Personal Application: God looks at the motive behind every action and the harvest that we reap will reflect what we sow

Main Idea: The type of seed you sow determines the type of harvest that you will reap.

2. You will reap in season – It will come in when it comes in, it will not come in early and it will not come in late. V. 9
• Ekkakeso – (Greek) to be fainthearted in view or trial or due to fear
• The harvest comes at the proper time, it will not be early or late
• Constant perseverance until the end, encouragement to press on
• Only at the proper time will the harvest be revealed
• There is always lag-period between sowing and reaping, generally the better the type of harvest the longer it takes to develop
• Textual Argumentation: 1 Corinthians 15:58
• “Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” John Wesley
• Application: Your labor for the Lord is never in vain

Main Idea: Your labor for the Lord is never in vain, so do not become weary in doing what God has called you to do.

3. You will reap more than you sow. V. 10
• Ergazomai – (Greek) to work, labor – you must work at doing good
• Paul is reminding the believers that we must do this day what we can because the day will come when we will have no more opportunity for service
• Opportunity – beckons the Christians to serve whole-heartedly every day.
• Let us do good – you are to actively pursue a course of good for others
• All men – believers and non-believers
• But there is a special place for Christian service among believers - We must help one another, carry one another’s burdens
• Textual Argumentation: Proverbs 3:20
• Application: You are always in the process of becoming who God wants you to be, so you must remember that your spiritual harvest takes time to cultivate.
  

Main Idea: The harvest always reflects greatly what it is made of. You are always in the process of becoming who God wants you to be, and your spiritual harvest takes time to develop.

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as you can see, what we do today impacts our tomorrows.
the decisions and choices we make will play a part in what
happens later. just as i mentioned earlier: if we focus on
seriously preparing (through prayer/study/etc) ourselves for
the ministries that god brings to us tomorrow, think about
how we could impact the people that are in our lives today.
a continual pursuit of righteousness and knowledge won't
only change us personally, it will change how others view
God through our lives and example.