i'm ready to mend

i like to call myself a "spontaneous routine keeper."  i have my own way of doing things... but i can appreciate some deviations from the norm.  while i enjoy random trips, unexpected invitations, etc... i do not look forward to forced spontaneity.  i spend part of my weekend planning my up-coming week.  i keep my calendar with me (thanks to a smart phone), so that i can make sure that my days are organized.  i like to think that if i try hard enough, i can be efficient.

as i look back on the past year, i think the constant theme would have to be change.  i am not a huge fan of (most kinds of) change.  while i know change is necessary, i tend to shy away from it because it is usually brought on by uncomfortable moments... and i don't like uncomfortable.  

change rips apart normality.  it reveals how we handle situations.  it shows who we really are.  i've been severely ripped the past 12 months (give or take a day or two), so much so that i'd say that this "chapter" of life has ranked pretty high on the difficult-o-meter. 

while difficult is ... well, difficult... i'd have to say that i'm thankful for the journey.  i have had many lessons learned, cried too many tears, had my cell phone die in the midst of frustrated conversations... but i'm still thankful.  i'm thankful because my prayer life and view of God has been transformed and i am learning about myself and ministry daily.  

even though the situations have been painful, the results in my life have been good.  

i've decided that i'm ready to mend in the midst of God's love and grace, and i'm excited to see what God is going to do and where He's leading me.

i am really ready to mend.