updated house pictures

the house is coming along and lots of progress has been made. to see pictures, click here. i've added them the same album as the previous ones i've taken, so you'll have to peruse to the end to see the new ones.

here's the update:

• wood floors installed
• carpet being installed
• electricity is on
• light fixtures added
• bathroom fixtures added
• fence posts in place.

i'm getting excited.

fake friends

my students tell me that they can't wait to graduate so that we can be "real" friends. they think that because they don't know everything about me... we're "fake" friends.

i take this as a compliment.

that means that i'm doing something right. that boundaries are in place. they recognize that i'm not just another friend, because another friend is the last thing they need.

they need someone who invests in them. disciples them. points them to the cross. challenges them with accountability. spurs them on in service. helps them grow.

the funny thing is... they know me. they know my heart. they know what God's doing in my life. they know they can always call me, just preferably before 10 pm. they know i like dr. pepper, enjoy cooking and like the food network. they know i'm a musician, a sister, a friend.

you see, they know me... the real me... but i will not share my burdens with them, because they don't deserve the burden. it's not theirs. they think they want to know every detail and struggle of my life, but they don't. those things are reserved for my God, my family and friends.

i continue to learn the necessity of Christian community. it's necessary if you want to grow, change and become more like Christ. God has blessed me with amazing community. A family who loves me and friends who ask the hard questions... remember my answers... and then ask those questions again.

this responsibility is not one that should be placed on the shoulders of the students i work with. even though the number of years aren't that different between us... college ministry means that i can't cross that line... i can't even have one foot on both sides of it.

boundaries. they are necessary. they are good. i'm learning just how good they really are.

rest, reflect and recover

this weekend i will be heading out of town. because of the kindness of some great people in my life, i get to get away.

i won't be going far away from home, which is fine since distance is not what i need.

i need to rest. to reflect. to recover.

God's grace and faithfulness continues to astound me. i can't believe all of the ways that He's moving and working around me... and i recognize that i must stop... so that i can reflect on how He's working in me.

while i rest and reflect... i'll be staying here:

enjoying a room similar to this one:

i covet your prayers as i seek the Lord and how He is speaking to me.

so if you call or email this weekend, please do not be offended if you don't hear back from me until monday. know that i love you... but i need to be still... and for that to work... i'll need to do it without spending a lot of time on a cell phone and the internet.

it's official. i'm an adult.

i've twittered about some decisions i've had in my life and i promised to share the details... so here you go.

this week... has been one of the most interesting ones of my life. i don't know why i'm surprised though. this has been one of the most interesting years ever.

this week... i realized that i am an adult. yes, i know that i'm 28, but sometimes i don't feel quite that old.

this week... i made an offer on a house, and one counter-offer later, the contract became official.

one of my closest friends lives in a new neighborhood in denton and since i'm at her house a couple times a week, i've watched the houses being built around her. we explored them as they were being built and talked about how much fun it would be to be neighbors. i never actually expected that i would ever be able to afford a purchase like this, but God started to put together the details in ways that i never expected.

the house is currently still under construction. it's 2 doors down from susan (the friend mentioned above). it's red. and if all goes as planned, i'll be closing at the end of october.

the house is over 1300 sq/ft, has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a large kitchen and a 2 car garage (it's a tandem garage, you park one behind the other).

the flooring (wood floors and carpet) will be going in this coming week... and i'll be picking out the carpet this monday. lots of exciting stuff.

while this experience is exciting, it makes me miss a friend of mine... a friend who would love to help me pick out carpet, paint colors, a refrigerator and dream about all the fun things we could do with the backyard. this friend loves painting walls and working on a house more than i do, and i wish i could share this experience with her.

so now i must venture into the world of mortgage companies and closing costs. i'd appreciate your prayers as i proceed. i trust that if this is where God wants me, the details will continue to fall into place. if it isn't and it doesn't work out... i'll be disappointed... but i know He must have something different awaiting me.

thanks for the prayers my friends. and a special thank you to my parents who have played a huge part in making this a possibility. they're support, advice and encouragement in my life is a daily blessing, and they are just as excited about this as i am! mom's doing decorating research and dad's making sure we ask all of the right questions.

click here to view the construction of the house. i'll try to post pictures of the progress as everything continues to come together.

decisions

got some decisions to make... i'd appreciate your prayers. i'll explain soon, i promise.

what must i do?

this will be short b/c it's late and i need to get to bed, but i figured i'd share anyway. tonight i've been reading in john. John 6 to be exact.

in the first part of John, we see Jesus performing many miracles and wondrous signs. He heals. He multiplies and feeds. He walk on water.

After He fed the crowd and crossed the water, He was met by the people He had just left. in John 6:25-29, the crowd asks Jesus a very interesting question... and He answers with an even more interesting answer.

Q: "what must we do to do the works God requires?" (vs. 28).

A: Jesus answers, "the work of God is this: to believe in the one He has sent." (vs. 29).

everything starts with belief and faith. my life. my ministry. everything i do.

to do the work of God... i must believe in Jesus. belief is not a one time thing, it is a constant denying of self, crying out to the cross and choosing to believe.

making friends w/ pain... a repost

here is a blog that i read this morning by james tealy, a friend of a friend of mine.

Pain is not the enemy. Comfort is not your friend. I wish I could remember now where I read these ideas. (Maybe some of you can identify the source.) They’ve begun to echo in my mind in recent days and I’ve decided it is time I learn to make friends with pain. It’s seems counter-intuitive and upside down. It is! In fact it is also extremely biblical.

Perhaps it was the 80’s that destroyed this truth in me. Maybe it’s the fault of the American dream. Maybe it was Spock and his “live long and prosper” nonsense or a hundred TV preachers wooing me toward my “double portion.” Sirens, every one of them.

At some point I decided that comfort was God’s will for my life and pain therefore was obviously outside of His will. In fact to be honest, I decided that God would never want me or my family or friends to experience pain so when pain has arrived, when tragedy made its surprise introduction, my heart immediately began to doubt God.

But Pain is not the enemy! Comfort is not your friend! Take a moment to open a Bible and read 1 Peter 1:3-9. (I know your inclination is to just keep reading and ignore the Bible, but come on…comfort is not your friend…go get a Bible and stretch yourself a bit). Our “new birth into a living hope” was accomplished through Jesus’ suffering, death, and resurrection. The path to hope was a painful one. Peter suggests that the pain we face is refining us, purifying us, shaping us.

Maybe you’re like me and have developed a very low tolerance for pain. Maybe you have little stomach for discomfort. Remember this: the power of the One Most High God is made perfect in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). So when pain surprises you with a visit, open your door, extend your hand. Make friends with pain.

should i be upset?

how do you feel when you realize that you've been "de-friended" by someone?

some of you have no idea what i'm talking about... most of you however, know exactly what i mean. it amazes me how technology lingo becomes normal in conversation. for example, "googled" is an understood verb meaning, "to search for something on the internet." anyway, i digress.

so for further explanation to help you get through the rest of this post... when you decide to share information and connect with someone on facebook, it is called "friending" them. when you decide to take that back, it's called "de-friending."

i don't know about you, but the moment i realize that i've been removed as someone's facebook friend, i'm not sure how to take it. i'm not an extremely sensitive person, but for some reason, "de-friending" bugs me. i admit that, on occasion, i have participated in a de-friending or two... but the act usually involves people i haven't ever had a personal relationship with or thinks that facebook is the appropriate medium to cram useless information down my throat.

because of the kind of ministry i am involved in, i spend a lot of time using social networking tools. next to email, facebook and twitter are the two most popular internet sites visited by my computer. they help me keep in touch with friends, students and publicize the happenings of the ministry where i work. in other words, whether it's good or not, social networking is an actual part of my interaction with community. it's definitely not my main source of community, but it's community none the less.

(social networking mixed with the Gospel is something i think about a lot... specifically, how do we use the internet for eternal purposes? click here to read a previous post about the topic.)

i wish that being removed as someone's facebook friend, being blocked from following someone on twitter, etc didn't impact me... but sadly, it does. the actual impact depends on the person and their involvement in my life.

what about you? do you feel rejected when excommunicated from someone's social networking neighborhood? or am i truly getting more sensitive in my old age?

counseling

i'm in counseling. i have been since november. i'm not ashamed to admit that to you. in fact... i think it's something everyone should do at some point in their life.

i started going because of some difficult situations. i continued because those situations continued. (sorry for the vagueness, but it's necessary). while the situations have changed, i continue going because i see how it benefits my life. it's not easy. in fact, i find it rather difficult. it chisels away at every part of me.

it has helped me fall more in love with God... which helps me love people better. and when you're in ministry, that's extremely important.

in the previous post, i wrote about struggling with pride and thinking i need to do and fix everything myself.

this is me letting you know... that i realize i'm not ok... and i've actually been doing something about it.

are you?