ok

"it's ok to not be ok... it's just not ok to stay there." - matt chandler

i have always prided myself on being calm, collected and steady. all of which i thought were good things. you know what the problem is though? for me, it's the word 'pride.'

i'm learning that i've got a lot to learn about, well... everything. i am prideful. i try and rely on my own strength. i have a hard time asking for help. the season of life that i'm currently in, doesn't permit me the privilege of self-conquering. i can't fix it. actually, i can't fix anything. i've tried and God keeps reminding me that i'm not big enough to do that. i need God's grace and guidance every moment, in the midst of every decision.

currently, i'm not ok... but i refuse to stay here. the lessons i'm learning, the grace i'm receiving... are true blessings. i am anxiously awaiting the moment when i look back and praise God for the changes He's made in me and through me.

in a previous post (from this past may), i wrote about the theme songs of my life. one of them being john mayer's "in repair." the bridge of this song has had a constant place in my mind for months, so much so that i asked a student to paint it in a picture so that i could hang it on my wall. i wanted a visual reminder of God's consistent work in my life.

thanks hollye for sharing your time and talent with me.